Hickory Ham Maik on Michelle Obama’s Weird Water-Related Public Health Campaign

waterI’ve spent the last 15 minutes being rather baffled by the website for Michelle Obama’s Partnership for a Healthier America campaign to get people to drink more water (file under: procrastination).

You can find it here.

You might have expected the website to provide you with some tips on how to remember to drink water throughout the day, or a description of the health benefits of staying hydrated. But in fact what you get is a bizarre, heavily animated thing that reads like a screed from a photocopied pamphlet someone might hand you on a street corner. Like you are being asked to take a personality test and join a cult. Or like Lyndon LaRouche is telling you you are caught in the inexorable march of history towards drinking more water!!

The first tip off that things are a little weird is that the website is structured upside-down and you are told to “scroll up” to read the text (why??).

Then we are told that water:

[has] an enduring supply of energy with a momentum that has only GROWN STRONGER and more determined since the beginning of time.

Yeah, go water! Despite the attempts of lesser liquids that have tried to contaminate it! You cannot kill water, you only make it stronger! Huh?

and then:

It’s no surprise then, the more water people drink, THE MORE LIKE WATER WE BECOME.

A cautionary tale! You have been warned!! (Editors note: you can in fact die from drinking too much water. Freaky, huh?)

Wait, so is this a pro-water website? I’m confused.

If the main page is not exciting enough, you can click on the link labeled “Water Lovers”, so you can see a gallery of photos of people. People drinking water. A bold political stance that distinguishes them from literally no one else on the planet.

At least I bet this post made you think about drinking water?

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