Dear MsBehaved: Jonna Ivin Answers It For You

Dear Ms. Behaved,

I’ve been dating my boyfriend “Mike” for almost a year now and things are going very well. We’re a year apart- I’m 21 and he’s 22.   This is so embarrassing!  Here goes…  Lately,  he’s brought up wanting to try anal sex several times. I’m not against it (not totally for it either), but something else is bothering me.  My guy’s best, lifelong fiend “Rick” is openly gay and came home from college out of state for the summer. He’s been hanging out with us a lot. I like Rick and enjoy his company, but my boyfriend never mentioned wanting to try anal before Rick came home.

Do you think my boyfriend is homosexual? I’m afraid he wants to have anal sex with me as an experiment to see if he prefers sex with men.  What do I do? Should I just do it to appease him? I am worried that if I don’t, he will seek out anal with a guy.  I’m so confused about what this means. Please help!

Signed,
Booty Called

Dear Booty,

There are two separate issues that need addressing. First, you need to decide if anal sex is something you are interested in doing. I’m not a doctor or a sex therapist so I’m not going to go into a lengthy explanation of precautions, risks, or give you a how-to guide. You can find that information on the Internet or get it from a health professional. What I will say is this; never do anything with your body just to make someone else happy, prevent them from leaving you or stop them from leaping out of the closet. Your body belongs to you and you alone. Only venture into sexcapades that you are turned on by and interested in . Sex is meant to be enjoyable, so make sure you are enjoying whatever experience you are having. Try anal sex, don’t try anal sex – the decision is entirely your own. It’s your butt; what you do with it is your business.

Now onto your suspicion that your boyfriend is possibly a closeted homosexual… I sincerely doubt he wants to knock on your back door in the hopes that GLAAD will answer. Your boyfriend is secure enough in his sexuality to remain best friends with Rick after he came out. This probably wasn’t easy for Rick and I applaud your guy for being a real man and standing by his friend.

Your guy wanting to try anal sex doesn’t make him gay it makes him, well a guy. Perhaps one who’s been watching a bit of porn lately and has a few ideas brewing. (I’ll admit it, if I had a dick, I’d spend a lot of time thinking about all the place I could put it in too.) I don’t believe he is using your derriere to decide if he wants to be gay because I don’t believe anyone up and decides to be gay. Rick and Mike grew up together. They went through all of the stages of maturity from childhood to adulthood. If they were both gay, trust me, they would have figured that out a long time ago and your behind would not only not be an option.  It wouldn’t even be in the picture.

Relax, take a deep breath, have a drink or three and enjoy the time you spend with your boyfriend doing whatever you crazy kids come up with.

Jonna is here to help you over the mid-week hump every Wednesday.  Send your questions about  love, relationships, life, and grabbing life by the balls to jonna@msbehaved.com.  Read more of her posts here.

Sorry, I had to. – Sarah

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