Hotties of the UEFA Euros 2012

Let me climb out onto the honesty branch and tell you that the idea for this piece was born out of sheer laziness.  What could be easier than picking out a bunch of fit, world class athletes and presenting them to you with a few witty remarks?  Well, now that I’m sat here in front of my netbook staring at a list of 16 teams and remembering that there are women out there who find Carles Puyol attractive, where exactly does which leave me?  Out on a limb may be too flimsy to hold my weight, frankly!  Never mind.  I will do my best to pick out varied selection of nummy man-meat from the teams involved in the group stages.

I suppose the honorable thing to do is to start with Spain, after that little Puyol crack.  For my money, there is no better place to start than universal goalkeeper-I’d-like-to-score, Iker Cassillas. Or, how about Xabi Alonso? He’s quite pretty clean shaven, but I prefer him with the ginger stubble, myself.  I struggle to believe the modeling contracts these men are in possession of are down to being World Cup winning footballers alone.  Moving on!

Iker Casillas. Are you feeling me yet?










The Netherlands have the much beloved and fawned over  Robin Van Persie and Nigel De Jong.

Portugal has the widely mocked and routinely lusted after Cristiano Ronaldo. Italy can proudly (?)  claim arguably insane trouble maker Mario Balotelli, who placed 59th in The Sun’s poll for World’s Sexiest Man.  Some ladies take that whole bad boy thing a little seriously.  Speaking of Bad Boys, let’s make our way to jolly old England.

Cristiano Ronaldo.  Like a proud and pouty peacock.










My adopted home land’s team doesn’t really do it for me, personally, but there are quite a few players who are popular amongst the wanna-be WAGs of the world.  England’s boys tend to be as well known for their indiscretions as their performance on the pitch (and there is definitely a case to be made for them being a bit more successful at the former than the later.)  I’d be ignoring a huge segment of the female population if I left these guys out, so we might as well get to it.

First up,  Ashley Cole, who famously cheated (over and over and over…) on his ex wife, pop singer Cheryl Cole (nee Tweedy), and shot a work experience student with an air rifle at Chelsea’s training ground. Next up, sometimes England captain, John Terry, who has been charged with assault, been accused of cheating on his wife with the girlfriend of a former teammate, and has been the subject of  investigation for racial abuse on the pitch (he’s standing trial in July).  So, um, yeah.  Sexy.  Steven Gerrard, on the other hand, is practically a choir boy compared to Cole and Terry.  So, if you’ve got a thing for nice guys, he’s your man






Well, that’s a little taste of what the 2012 Euro’s have to offer.  If you’re interested in keeping up with these (and  the many other) international hotties of football, I suggest visiting the amusing and informative Kickette, a veritable cornucopia of hotties, gossip, and short tents (think about it awhile, and it’s meaning should become abundantly clear).   If your favourite footballer wasn’t mentioned, I’m sorry!  There are only so many hours in a day, ladies.  Remember, UEFA Euro’s kick off this Friday at 12:00 EST with Poland v. Greece, so set your dvrs!


  1. jumpingpolarbear says:

    Their girlfriends are not that bad either :).

  2. I like the metro Portuguese one. What can I say?!

    • shannonhumphreys says:

      Oh, Bianca! Ronaldo used to play for my EPL team. Fantastic player. His girlfriend is a model, Irina Shayk. He owns a boutique called CR7 (his initials plus his number when he played for United). There are countless pictures of him sitting on yachts looking like he’s thinking about how pretty he is. I could write a book about Ronaldo alone. He amuses the hell out of me, but you are FAR from alone on that one.

  3. I think I’d be down with a tour of Europe. Minus the aholes, I wouldn’t kick any of em out of bed for eating crackers.

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