Battle of The Beastie Yeasties: I Fought Candida and Won

I have only had to deal with the nastiness of a yeast infection once due to a heavy duty course of antibiotics.  There are lots of other causes, though—synthetic fabrics that don’t breathe well (I’m looking at you, pantyhose), dyes and perfumes in detergents and bath products, irritations caused by condoms and lubricates, too much friction during sexy time, a diet high in sugar, hormone fluctuations… Vaginal flora is delicate, ya’ll.

If you’ve never had one, thank your lucky stars; the itching and burning is all-consuming. My instincts told me to find a tree with rough bark to rub against for relief, but I went to the more socially acceptable route to the drugstore and picked out the most expensive one-day cure they carried.

I was allergic to the cream.  I can only describe the level of swelling that occurred as Elephantiasis of the vulva.  My lady business was so swollen, I could not wear pants or underwear and had to walk bow-legged until the Benadryl and ice packs took effect.

Once my lady business shrunk back to human proportions, I turned to the Internet for help.  Google “natural yeast infection remedies” and you’ll get results.  Some suggestions I dismissed entirely—like douches and DIY boric acid suppositories.  Boric acid?  Are you kidding me? I’m trying to kill candida yeast, not roaches. These all seem reasonable, though:

  • Yogurt  – eat it , apply it topically,  freeze it into a soothing yogurt-sickle and insert (if it’s going near your bits, it has to plain, unflavored, no sweetener)
  • Garlic – wrap a clove of garlic in cheese cloth or gauze and insert overnight
  • Tea tree oil –  Coat a tampon  with a lubricant before adding a few drops of tea tree oil and insert or mix with olive oil or lubricant and apply topically.
  • Apple cider vinegar – Drink 2 tsp per 8 oz of water, 3 times daily / Pour 2 cups in a shallow bath, soak for 30 minutes /Dilute 2 tbsps in 2 quarts of water, soak in cotton cloth and apply to affected area

I went with garlic because that’s what I had on hand.  I didn’t have anything to wrap it in, so I didn’t bother.  I also didn’t stop with one clove, because if one will do you good, more will do you better!   That line of reasoning alone should clue you in to the fact that I am not in any way qualified to dispense medical advice.  DIY at your own risk!

When you’re here your family. Everyone loves the Olive Garden, right?

My crotch smelled like a basket of Olive Garden bread sticks, but you know what?  It worked, and it worked overnight!  If I ever find myself in such a yeasty jam again, I’d do the same thing. Here’s hoping it won’t ever come to that, though.  Every bottle of antibiotics will be accompanied by a giant bottle of acidophilus pills (for all of the benefits of yogurt, minus the flavor).

Don’t let me be gross all by myself.  Tell me your yeast infection horror stories!

Photo source



  1. You make me laugh. Even in your misery. That kind of yeast infection is not a problem for me, but too much yeast in my intestines has been. I wonder if increasing my intake of garlic would help that? Worth a try.

  2. Garlic is good for that (says Google)! There’s a really cute guy in the vitamin section of Sun Harvest (or whatever Sun Harvest is called now) we can ask! I had him direct me to the “colon health” section last time. I’m shameless like that.

  3. shannonhumphreys says:

    Yogurt works, ya’ll! I’ve been on antibiotics 3 times during this pregnancy (both the antibiotics AND the being pregnant make you more likely to get a yeast infection) and that’s added up to a LOT of bad times. I got some of the unflavoured stuff to apply, but stuck to eating a vanilla variety. I had two servings a day instead of just one and cut down on sugar from other sources and was good as gold in 2 days, tops.

  4. I’ve probably had 5 or 6 in my lifetime. Sex+Beer+Stress is the winning combination for me. But ever since I quit beer, I haven’t had a single one, so it’s always good to know your triggers…And I never ever use the drug store cream, you can get homeopathic suppositories that work pretty well without nuking your vag!

    • of use it bfoere you sleep DONT.Use it 1-2 hours bfoere you sleep becuase if you are one of those who are sensitive to the med then it will take a while for the burning to subside. Plus theres a monistat brand with the soothing wipes I hear that helpsNow why does it burn:1. You have had Y.I. for 2 weeks now, I assume that you have been scratching down there a lot, hence you could have wounded yourself with the scratching. You may not have felt it, but the skin on your vagina is one of the MOST sensitive and easiest to get cuts and scrapes even from wiping with a tissue paper.Becuase of that its like the feeling of putting alcohol in an open wound effect.2. You have had yeast infection for 2 weeks which means the yeast has grown to overdrive mode and the meds are reacting to the yeast strongly. If you observe the soreness after placing the monistat cream ( the 7 day at least) you will feel a fizzling feeling down there ..thats monistat killing the yeast. Thyats why also you need to wear a panti liner when using monistat because your discharge will increase and in some cases you will see the residue of the dead yeast infection being flushed outSo its a battle down there3. You are allergic to the component of the cream. The painful feeling should last after day 3. If it continues to day 4, time to switch to another med4. Most commonly its this. You dont have Yeast Infection .You can either have,UTIBacterial Vaginosis or Fungal infectionFirst signs of Diabetes ( especially if your discharge has that fruit sweet scent)Now as a reminder, Bacterial Vaginosis or UTI has the same sypmtoms as yeast infection ( or it is caused by a severe yeast infection) but may get worse, in fact chances if you have these symptoms:1. Thick yellowy to green discharge with a cheesy scent2. Severe itching from outside the vagina to the inside3. pain in lower abdomen or lower back ( where your kidneys are4. In severe cases chills and fatigue ( feeling really tired)5. Sure way to know is if your discharge has a cheesy or fishy smell6. if your discharge is sweet or fruity smelling get a test for diabetes7. a UTI common symptom is having a tingling or painful feeling when pee-ing or having mini orgasms on some casesThen chances are you may have Bacterial Vaginosis you need to see a doctor for this for a different medicineThen you can also get a Fungal infection, cause by an open rash in your vagina and it goes hand in hand with yeast infection or if your vagina is too dry and it losses the natural moisturizing it needs. Again, just see a doctor for thisThe medicine for the Fungal Infection is Miconazole Lidocaine Neo-Penotran Forte and thats a perscribed medicne too. Its also used for Yeast infection but not commonly perscribed for YI.Thats why I say, see the doc so she can give you the right meds, rather than self medicating.I hope this info helps. PM me if you have other questions

  5. Also, my sister is an expert on this stuff, and might be willing to write a follow-up guide from a naturopathic perspective.

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