Love Letter from the Fatshion Trenches: Summertime Rolls

Hello my sun worshippers and heliophobes,

Is it officially summer yet? (Fuck it, it’s June at any rate!) Let’s talk SUMMER FATSHION today!

VAMPY SUNDRESSES

First off, fuck pastels. Wear a little black dress as a goth sundress, some high heeled sandals, sunglasses and blingy jewelry and pretend you are a mafia princess (that was my sister’s wedding fashion concept, btw. She wore a silk shift dress instead of a gown, and it looked hot).  I wear a lot of black, and the secret reason is because I have a bad tendency to run for the bus while holding a cup of coffee, and have ruined many a colored shirt that way. But I am all about a pop of color in your makeup, shoes, jewelry and hair along with a summery LBD.

I love this dress (It’s a cheapo Mossimo number from Target) because it’s super flattering, and kind of fancy (check out the amazing woven texture on the bust!) It’s nice enough for a cocktail party, but it’s made of super light jersey so it’s also super comfy and beach appropriate.

Not just an excuse to flaunt my boobs, I swear!

SCANDALOUS SANDALS

I fucked up my feet wearing bad shoes for many years, so now I insist on buying shoes from expensive euro brands like Dansko, Sanita, Earth Shoes, and Sofft. Last summer Dansko put out these AMAZING super comfy dominatrix looking high heeled black PVC gladiator sandals called the Callie, and if I had known they’d discontinue the style I’d have bought five pairs, I love them that much. They look really sexy and uncomfortable, but I totally Slutwalked in them and was fine! I guess Dansko’s target demographic is not so into “edgy” shoes, sadly. But yeah, get thee to the hippie shoe store and don’t be afraid to drop $100+ on the sexiest pair of orthopedic sandals you can find, and you’ll enjoy wearing them all summer long.

SMELLING AWESOME

I adore Love & Toast’s honey coconut perfume because it totally smells beachy and summery and is really potent, long lasting, sweet and yummy. (They have a full line of other products in this scent, too!) It’s a steal at $12.50 for a 1.7 oz bottle that fits in your purse!

I am digging Lush’s Ro’s Argan “Body Conditioner” because I am irrationally lazy about putting on lotion, but if it’s something I can do as part of my shower routine, it seems like less work. You slather this on once you’re clean, rinse off, and are left all soft and smelling like Turkish rose jam. (You can get a little trial-sized pot of it for $5.95.) Use it after you’ve washed with Grass shower gel, and you’ll smell like you’ve been rolling around naked in a rose garden, which is hot. Also invest in some Silky Underwear dusting powder to cut down on sweatiness (it’s supposedly jasmine scented, but it smells kind of like whipped cream to me), though I suggest putting on your black dress FIRST, then lifting it up and tucking it into your bra or something so you don’t get big chalky stains on your clothes when applying it.

I barely use any product in my hair, but I dig the lavender scented Tancho pomade stick from Japan- it’s like a giant, sophisticated-smelling chapstick that tames dried-out ends.

LOOKIN’ FANCY

I love dangly earrings! (They’re pretty much the only kind I can wear since I have non-removable hoops in). I got these awesome earrings for $1 at Lucy In Disguise in Austin, and decided to match my eye makeup to them: Maybelline’s Color Tattoo cream eyeshadow in Tenacious Teal, which is pretty much impossible to sweat off. I like to tone down my red lipstick for daytime by layering Lush’s coppery “Latte” (it smells like a frappucino) lip gloss over Kat Von D’s metallic red  Adora lipstick (which is awesome on its own for a more dramatic look). I’m also hopelessly addicted to Sally Hansen’s “Salon Effects” nail polish strips (as seen in the pic above), as I’m sadly hopeless at applying real nail polish without making a huge mess. (The ones I’m wearing in the pic above are the limited edition “Twinkle Bell:” metallic beige with variegated silver glitter.)

So what are y’all wearing this summer?

Big love,

Bianca James

Read more love letters here!

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Comments

  1. I’ve only been into Lucy in Disguise to find costumes for dress-up theme days at work. (This was when I had a temp job at a startup.) I’d get instructions like “I need something for magic day, nothing too wizard-y.” haha I never thought to look for anything for myself… But next time I’m on SoCo, I sure as hell will.

  2. I’m a magpie- they had a box of $1 costume jewelry and I was determined to find something good!!!

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