Are You Ready For Some [UEFA Euro] Football?!

Let’s talk football!  Actual football, not that handegg stuff you Americans like to pass off as football. (I kid! Sort of.)  It’s a big year, as the Euros are taking place.  This is going to be the last time only 16 teams compete.  From 2016 on, it will be 24 teams in the finals.  More summer football for me!  Now, I’m not one to buy into that whole Americans (and women!) don’t “get” football thing.  It’s stupid.  I LOVE football, and I understand the offside rule a hell of a lot better than quite a few League 2 linesman do.  And so can you!  All it takes is a healthy interest and a basic understanding of how sports (in general) work.

International competitions are a great way to introduce newcomers to the sport, in my opinion.  My love of football deepened considerably during the 2006 World Cup.  The Euros could make a nice toe dip for curious Americans.  You don’t really have a horse in this race, so you won’t be as emotionally invested, and you won’t have to deal with that horrible pit-of-the-stomach churning when your country goes out.  It’s a surprisingly visceral reaction, even when you know your team can’t compete.  I’m not exactly what you’d consider a particularly gung-ho patriotic American, but I bawled my eyes out and was inconsolable when we went out in 2010.  (I have been known to cry over the Yankees winning the World Series as well… So, you know grain of salt and all that.  I cry a lot.  Shut up.)

There are four groups with four teams each that were determined by a draw.  During the group stage, each team plays everyone else in their group.  The winner and runner up of each group make it to the knockout stage.  If there is a tie between two teams in a group, goal difference comes into play.  Group A stage starts June 8.  ESPN has broadcasting rights in America and will probably be showing most, if not all, of the games.  Now, a quick list of the countries who qualified and the groups they’re in:

Group A

  1. Poland (host country)
  2. Greece
  3. Russia


  4. Czech Republic

Group B

  1. Netherlands
  2. Denmark
  3. Germany
  4. Portugal

Group C

  1. Spain (defending champions)
  2. Italy
  3. Republic of Ireland
  4. Croatia

Group D

  1. Ukraine (host country)
  2. Sweden
  3. France
  4. England

I’m ashamed to admit, I had no idea what a vuvuzela was until this post. It’s a HORN. – Sarah

Now you’re set up with a little Euro primer.  Next week we’ll have a walk-through of hotties of the Euros*, because I want to get everyone hooked before they begin. In the interest of full disclosure, I’ll be supporting my usual teams, England and Spain.  (Spain is actually the team that made me fall deeply in lust with the sport in 2006.  I just love the way they play.)  Get your vuvuzelas at the ready!

*No, Becks did not make the England squad.  Sorry!  I will try my hardest to find you some other decent man meat, though!


  1. PushDumpFatButton says:

    Reblogged this on Push Dump Fat Button.

  2. shannonhumphreys says:

    Actually, Sarah, they are the devil’s horns! They’re seriously annoying, but in a funny way. People got all kinds of worked up about them at the last World Cup and wanted them banned. lol

  3. I’m totally indifferent to Football (despite my predilection for exotic men) but I think this is the funniest shit ever:,17625/

    My Brazilian boyfriend (when I lived in Japan) would get up ungodly early on Sunday mornings to play “Futbal” with his mates.

    • shannonhumphreys says:

      Ha! The Onion never fails to amuse. I know I can’t convert everyone. I’m okay with that. Hopefully my next post on the Hotties of Euro 2012 will have something to entertain you! 😉

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