Since When Did It Become Bad To Be Good?

According to the lady blogs on the Internets, everyone is drunk and on drugs and not doing laundry and sleeping with random strangers and not recycling. They are ex-anorexics, ex-sex workers, current narcotics anonymous members, and recovering shoplifters. They are amazingly “brave” and “badass” and “cool” for writing about how brave and badass and cool they once were. They are saying things everyone has always been “too scared to talk about” in public and it’s all highly original and shit that they partook in some bad behavior back in the day.

You know. Like everyone else has done and who doesn’t feel the need to talk about on the Internets.

The thing I find most shocking about this too much information over-sharing is that writers have been doing it for ages. There isn’t anything new or original about airing your dirty laundry in public. There isn’t anything brave or badass about being 25 and waking up in a puddle of your own vomit in some guy’s bed who has a name you can’t remember. These are the sorts of things most of us would rather forget. You know what is brave? Women with cancer. You know what is also brave? Women who wake up and make lunches and walk their kids to school and come home and fold laundry. It’s easy to be a train wreck. It’s easy to be so self-involved you spend your days writing about your feeeelings and how brave you were because you regurgitated three boxes of  Tylenol PM you ate when you were thinking about your feeeelings. It’s easy to think you are that important and that original that random Internet strangers want to hear about your vagina. Your vagina isn’t that special.

Since when did it become so cool to be so lame? I’m going to start championing the chicks who make their beds. The ones who walk their dogs and read bedtime stories to five year olds and who give loose change to homeless people outside Starbucks. Let’s hear it for you, you brave women who just emptied your dishwasher and you who just carried in all those groceries by yourself. You know what’s badass? The girl looking for a parking space outside the nursing home to bring magazines to her mother with Alzheimer’s. You know what’s cool? The woman dropping off old bath towels at the animal shelter. Not to forget the women out there curing diseases and writing novels and creating art and actually making a difference in the world.

There is nothing “bad” or “boring” about being good. There is nothing wrong with not wanting to tell the world about all the dumb shit you’ve done in the past, because let’s face it, we have all done dumb shit, and none of it is really that interesting. You know what’s really cool? Being a good person. Caring about other people. Thinking of ways you can make the world a better place. Learning from your past mistakes and trying your best not to make them again in the future. And folding your laundry. That shit is metal.


  1. I agree with all but one part – people who attempt suicide don’t do it because of their ‘feelings’. Very few people attempt suicide because they were simply sad or having a bad day.

    Mental Illness is an actual problem, and something that is already highly stigmatized. People who have depression or anxiety are often told to get over it, or have people compare it to a ‘bad day’ or a ‘low period’ in their life. People who struggle with mental illness are brave because it’s very difficult to get out of bed, and make your kids sandwiches, and walk them to school when you have problems getting out of bed in the morning. Or when you get social anxiety so bad you lose control of your bowels at the thought of having to face the day.

    Waking up and making your bed sucks, but waking up and making your bed when you have an overwhelming need to cry, or self mutilate, or just lay there doing nothing? It takes a lot of strength to do the tiniest things when you’re suffering with a mental illness.

  2. evevawter says:

    I wasn’t talking about suicidal people.can I call them peeps? IT IS EASTER!

  3. evevawter says:

    I used to get janked on Tylenol pm and write bad poetry.

  4. Halle-f*cking-lujah! I walked the dogs AND did the dishes AND cleaned up the aftermath of a bike crash AND did laundry AND am off to get the ingredients to make Peepshi (google it!) because I am BADASS! And when I get home? I’m going to pound some chicken into cutlets which is as brave as it gets. I love you, Eve!

  5. Oh, Eve! This one’s been a long time coming. I’m so glad it was you who wrote it. Sometimes I feel like telling the internet that yes, we survived our 20’s to. Here’s a medal, now try keeping a carpet clean for 24 hours with a four year old running around and THEN I will be impressed.

  6. As a former train wreck, I submit that it was NOT EASY. Being a single working mom who gets up, packs the lunches, goes to work, folds the laundry, reads the bedtime stories, etc. is much easier than being a train wreck was. Maybe it’s because I have other shit to do besides just feel my feeeeeelings all day long?

    In any case, thanks for this – you crack me up, as always. Can I come over to your house and eat cookies?

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